For so many years I wallowed in self-pity... I marinated myself in suffering not because I didn't care, or because I did not want to be happy, but because I truly believed that my pain was the fault of others. I whole heartedly believed that society, my up-bringing, the people I encountered everyday were somehow to blame for my dissatisfaction.
Blame is the death of responsibility. It renders you impotent, unable to effect any sort of change in yourself or in the world around you. It suggests, that I must sit and wait for others to get their act together before I can be happy. Blame is a complete refusal to accept the capacity to respond directly and honestly to the events in your life- it is the enslavement of freedom!
"You are 100% responsible for who you are- you are your own creation!" These were the words of my first teacher, and they were perhaps the most liberating words I have ever heard. Though I found it unsettling at the time, in the end it not only proved to be true, but it was also an invitation to rediscover the freedom that had been repressed by ignore-ance and fear. For so long I had been enslaved by my own misunderstanding. I had been held captive in a prison of unhappiness, by the belief that others had put me there! The moment I realized I was both the hostage and the guard the prison walls came tumbling down.
If you really see that you are responsible for the situations you find yourself in you can never again be stuck; you will never again find yourself sitting there in your own crap waiting on society, your parents, or any one else to fix you.
When you realize that the problems you face are of an internal origin, "a crisis in consciousness" as Jiddu Krishnamurti would call it, you have entered the world of spirituality.
Realizing it is not a perverted society, incompetent parents, or stupid friends, but a crisis in consciousness that is at the root of all of your troubles sets you on the path toward total freedom because, realizing that the problem is of internal origin goes hand and hand with the realization that resolving these problems will also be an internal job. This, as Alan Watts suggests, is "the birth of responsibility."
When we rediscover our capacity to respond to life we never again have to sit and wait for the world to fix us, instead every moment becomes a moment filled with infinite possibilities. In this moment we are no longer compulsively governed by the events of our past or our expectations of the future. That moment is the present moment, where all problems from the past and hopes for the future collide creating the space for you to be who and what you are; not yesterday or tomorrow, but right here-right now!
This is the doctrine of karma in its simplest form- Your are your own creation!
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!! I am at this point in my self-discovery journey (I am ashamed to say I only just discovered this the other day) and so this is very timely for me. I'm working on unchaining myself of that 'crap' which is holding me down, and accepting that it is ME and no one else who will effect change in my life is both liberating and scary!
ReplyDeleteDevon I am glad to hear you enjoyed the article, but even happier to hear of your recent discovery! It is a scary thing on the surface, but once you move deeper it proves to be quite beautiful! Have a great weekend, and thanks for the comment.
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